I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
