I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
don't judge my taste in strippers
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
