when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
