If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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