11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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