i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
