There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
