in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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