some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize