sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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