dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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