i just had sex bonerless
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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