im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
