just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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