I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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