problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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