I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
nutella sex= disaster
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
