I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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