DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
