I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
