She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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