I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
