I got chris browned last night
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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