i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
