DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
