Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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