Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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