nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
