he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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