So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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