that's an acceptable place to lick
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
