K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
