Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
