I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
