Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
