the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
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I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
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When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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