No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I think I sprained my soul last night
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
