My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
