You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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