Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
