We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
