I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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