Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You just made me feel so damn special
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
