I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
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I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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