my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize