I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
