how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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