why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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