im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
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Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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