Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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