I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
