is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
