so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
