SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
