Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
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Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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