More tranny stories later!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
