We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
