Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
well you can't waste a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize