i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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