You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
