this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
