Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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