im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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