if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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