This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
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I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
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I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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