He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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