Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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