When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
why is half of my head shaved?
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